Dear Nicole Arbour: My Response to the YouTube Video “Dear Fat People”

Dear Nicole Arbour: My Response to the YouTube Video “Dear Fat People”

  I’m going to go ahead and begin this post with stating that I watched the video and I’m not offended.  I don’t even think it’s that offensive.   I’m so sick of people being unable to call a spade a spade.

The overall message is for those that are “fat” because they make bad lifestyle choices.   She even specifies that it’s not aimed with people who have genetic or other diseases that caused them to gain weight.   

I’m fat.  By definition and my doctor I’m a fatty.  I am 5’1″ and currently weigh 170lbs.  I have no excuse.  Other than the profuse sweating I do by just tying my running shoes, I’m relatively healthy.  Actually, I’m anemic so by all standards I should be rail thin.  I was always rail thin until I hit 30. Then my husband made me fat.  

Fuck you, Jeff, for taking me out to restaurants and introducing me to Netflix!!  My life was thinner when I was a single mom and on the sleep deprivation, stress and starvation diet! 

Despite the weight I’ve gained, I still manage to keep my hour-glass figure (thank you, Spanx) so I only cry about my appearance 5 days a week.  

Carrying extra weight is hard.  I need to lose it.  It’s making my joints and back ache and my heart work harder.  It’s extremely unhealthy.  

So I try to make better choices about what and how much I eat.  Fuck dieting.  I’ve tried so many diets only to go “fat-kid on cake” every chance I got.  

I have an awesome group of ladies who push me to get to the gym on certain days by going with me.  One of them is my direct manager and one of the best gal pals I could ever ask for.  I’m very lucky to have her as a motivator.   One of my other best gal pal is yoga instructor who knew me when I was my usual size 5, and has watched me balloon up to a size 12.  

Nothing is wrong with being a size 12.  Gaining 40 lbs in under 4 years for no other reason than consuming too much fat and sugar and not exercising is wrong.   

But my husband and I did it together so at least I know he doesn’t judge me. 

Here is a picture from April 2011 when we first started dating.   I weighed 130lbs and he weighed 185lbs. 

And here’s a picture from our wedding exactly 3 years later in April 2014.  I was 160lbs and he was about 250lbs.  He still looks sexy as ever to me.     

My dress actually ripped when I tried to sit down for a photo; side zipper split wide open. I was mortified. I could have blamed the boutique that sold me the dress, or the designer. But nope. It ripped because I was too fat for it. Period.   

This is the actual picture he shot just before it went kerrrrrrrIP!!!!

Luckily our photographer knew how to pose me so it wouldn’t show the shoddy job he and my husband did to try and temporarily close it up.  They were both such darlings but I could only marry one.  


There is no perfect shape for a human body. All human shapes are perfect as long as they are taking care of them.      

I hate the term “Get in shape”.   I am in shape.  Round is a shape.   Cylinder is a shape.  Trapezoid is a shape.   

Get healthy.   Period. 

Nicole points out in the video that we only have one body.   One.  One body and one life.  

Yes it’s your body, but if I have to pay higher deductibles because you want to stuff it full of unhealthy foods and resolve to roll around in a scooter paid for by my tax dollars, and stay home and collect disability because you only want to eat Big Macs like Tic Tacs.  

And for my friends that are fellow “fatties”, I love you and you are beautiful!  

I want you to live long lives and I want to live a long life too!


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